So I Did.

I did. Yesterday I threw a temper tantrum. On the bathroom floor. At work. I have zero shame.

First of all, I can tell you that taking a toothache that has turned very quickly into a serious infection (that the dentist is talking to you about going to the ER to get IV antibiotics) & combining that with nerve pain in my foot from my Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS) is a nightmare combination.

I mean a nightmare with zero sleep.

The truth is that CRPS does a number on our bodies. The medicines, the injections we try, the procedures we go through, the consistent lack of sleep, are all hard on our bodies.

Yesterday I totally posted about my temper tantrum complete with an image of a sweet girl throwing it down. I do believe that sometimes you absolutely need to let it all out; and then pick yourself back up!

I am also a big believer in sending out the vibes you want in your life.

So….yesterday I did complain; I vented. Now today, I need to go back to sending out the positive frequency that I prefer in life. When I got the e-mail yesterday that my permanent DRG Stimulator surgery was not until the end of October I did feel my heart break a little. In my battle of this disease, I have felt hopeless many times. I would have that talk with myself often that I needed to accept it. However, in those five days of my trial, I found this small little glimmer of light.

That little light was hope. Just a little hope is all you need to keep yourself fighting; to keep yourself from falling into a dark hole.

Now I have to wait three months. I could keep crying about it & make the next three months totally miserable.

Or I could do what this “K” has always done. Find the positives, focus on the positives & trust the journey.

There are a lot of things I can now get done in the next three months; I would really like to build some strength back up. There are projects I would like to finish….okay, or start…. around the house. Right after we moved in, I had my foot reconstruction surgery and well, we all know the rest of that story. So, boxes still sit there, closets that need organization, rooms that just need “my touch” in them.

However, we do all really enjoy the upside down laundry basket as a coffee table in the living room! We aren’t real fancy people, clearly….

This procedure will be just before my one year anniversary of my foot surgery; the day that ultimately changed my life in many ways. The mark of a year of more challenges than one can image.

But, it has been my mountain. Even when I physically was unable to walk, in many ways I was still putting one foot in front of the other; I was climbing my mountain. I never knew what was ahead or around the curve. There were times I fell but was blessed by having so many reach their hands out to me. There were so many times I became so exhausted that I wanted to simply let go & give up on getting to the top.

But that’s the thing about life. You never know what is ahead, around the corner or how many times you will get knocked down. But, if you just keep trying to move forward, one day you will look back & find that you climbed a mountain.

In everything, there is a reason. I may never understand this one or agree with it. But, I also know this is my story to tell & I know stories have the ability to help others. So, I will keep climbing & fight to get one foot in front of the other, with a smile of course, & there will come a day I will look back & see the beauty of every small movement forward.

Until Next Time~