A few years ago I wrote under an old blog about my weight loss journey. I wrote for no one else, except myself & perhaps a few online fitness friends.
I shared it all. The ups & downs of a weight loss journey. The days I won & the days I fell flat on my face. I had zero worry about judgement because I did not share with anyone in my “real life.”
I realized this week that I have ventured away from that in my writing. I have been writing with a business mindset & not just sharing me, my heart, my journey. I have been writing with fear due to messages I have received; sharing with a wall up.
So, here I am heading back to my roots. I’m here to share with you. I’m here to be honest about the times where I want to give up & I’m here to share with you about the wins, scale & non-scale related. There are no more walls; any negative judgement thrown my way means nothing to me.
I’m not writing to have your praise or positive affirmations; that’s not what it is about for me.
Honestly, I have thirty pounds I want to, need to, lose. Yes, I know that the scale does not define me. I know that some will tell me to not worry about the number of pounds I lose or don’t lose. I know that true beauty comes from within.
But, I’m here to do me; not anyone else. I will focus on non-scale progress as well; but I’m also going to focus on the scale too.
I’m not here to sell you something. I’m going to be here writing for me. Because writing for me is a form of therapy. It’s the best way that I self-reflect. Writing is the way that always allows me to move forward in life through any challenges I face.
On that note….
If you’ve been following my journey recently you know that I have not been allowed to “do me” while working out in over 6 months. I’m finally cleared & allowed to move forward. However, this will be different for me. I have to focus on different things. I have to do more than the person next to me. There are extra steps I need to take.
In all reality, I feel like my body is back to the beginning of my journey. I lost so much strength in the past 6 months that if I allowed it to, it would dishearten me. My endurance is a struggle. For real.
Today at lunch, I went to my gym to jump on the treadmill. My plan is to fit in just a few miles a couple of times a week with my weight lifting. I figure this way I can slowly build back up my running & make the needed adjustments listening to my body to do so.
I got on the treadmill thinking how amazing it would be if I could get in three miles today. I knew this was probably not going to happen but I also know I need to build slowly.
Umm….I got to a half of a mile & wanted a walk break. For real. This was at a very slow pace (like my speed never got over 5 mph & barely hit 5). I debated allowing myself the chance to walk for twenty seconds.
But instead, I increased my speed & pushed through to the mile mark.
My mind was filled with self-doubt but my body was stronger than I thought. For the past few months I wondered how much fight I really had left in me.
Now, I know there is a lot of fight left in me. It’s time I bring it. It’s time I write again for me. 
Until Next Time~
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