When I write, I find out things about myself I didn’t realize. I just wrote an opening sentence and it slapped me across the face because it was not reality.
This will be my third year I have sat down to write a blog post at the end of the year to share what I have learned.
This year will be my best yet. The amount of growth I experienced in the past year is almost hard to comprehend. I used to think “self-help” books were a joke and self-care when you were a mom was something put on the back burner until you had an empty nest years down the road.
This year I learned about myself. I am fully aware of my weaknesses and have learned to embrace them. I have learned my strengths and how to use them to help others. I have learned that a good mom does not mean a clean house but in fact, means being present with her children. Laundry can wait…well, to an extent…until mom doesn’t have any clean workout clothes that is!
I have learned about love. There is a love out there for everyone, a love that fully accepts you just the way you are. A love that loves your madness and thinks your flaws are perfect. A love that can read you as if the words are written across your forehead, a love that will not let you hide anything. A love that makes you a much better version of you.
Love was the theme, but the biggest growth came down to self-love.
As I approach 2017, I fully love every piece of me….and y’all, I’m messed up!
I struggled growing up, in college and then as a mom with body image. I spent the majority of my life feeling self-conscious, looking in the mirror and picking apart every single thing wrong with me, which seemed to be everything.
My growth is shown right here. The old me would be sitting here wishing she was just like this K in this picture from a few years back. 
Sure, she looks great on the outside and appears to be beaming with happiness and confidence. But, like a book, don’t ever judge it by the cover. She was broken. She lost weight because she was barely eating a thing and was training for a marathon. She was damaging her body daily with little nutrition but yet glasses of wine nightly. That smile was hiding so much and I never want to be like her.
My body is far from perfect. In fact, it’s pretty much messed up. You all know my love for my “tree trunk legs” but let’s talk about my deformity! I mean, I have always HATED my feet. You are way more likely to catch me in some Sketcher Go Walks in the summer than a pair of flip-flops. But, now, it’s legit deformed and causing me so many issues and struggles daily. But, it’s me. It is a part of me, the body I was given to live my life in.
A few years ago, I had to have a pretty extensive repair on my shoulder in two different areas. This drives me nuts, or used to…but my upper body is literally lopsided. Can you see how much higher the one shoulder is compared to the other? This is how it healed and despite the doctors telling me it would be good as new post-surgery, it is not and there are many things I loved to do that I can’t and as for push-ups….those don’t work well either.
Now, we can talk about the mama pouch that just never looks the same again. We can talk about the stretch marks and the cellulite because I wear it all. We can chat about the many signs of losing weight and regaining weight in my horrible cycles since my college years. We can talk about the rolls that multiply when I bend over or sit down. Let’s talk about the curves I once despised that now I embrace.
I will gladly share because I love it all. It’s me. It is my 36-year-old body, it’s the life I have lived so far.
Now do not get me wrong here; you can LOVE your body – and work for it to be better. I believe we were made to move, we were made to be active. My body is where I have to live my life and I want it to be strong, physically able to do anything and healthier every day.
The tag in my pants does not drive me. The size of my shirt does not either. Right now, what keeps me going is knowing that getting to a healthier weight can possibly help some of my pain and symptoms from my foot up to my hip.
So, in 2017 I will continue to practice self-love and self-care daily. The message I want my girls to observe daily is just that: love yourself. Love all there is about you; the imperfectly perfect you that God created.
My theme for 2017 is growth. Growing a little bit every single day not just with love inside me, love around me, but a LOVE for LIFE.
Cheers to you as you ring in a brand new year. May your 2017 be filled with memories to cherish, love everywhere and a passion for your life.
Until Next Time~
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