Dec 9
2016

Lost In The Fight

I was fighting. I was fighting through hurdles. I was fighting through pain. I was fighting through fatigue. I was fighting her.

I found myself fighting with tears mixing with my sweat. They came out of nowhere. I was lost in the moment. Lost in the fight.

The last time I completed this workout was 23 days ago. I was weaker then, not just physically, but also mentally.

Today, I gave it all, I had to fight harder.

Perhaps I was fighting through frustration. I am an athlete & incredibly competitive & I don’t half-*ss anything. But, since August, I have been held back. It’s like I have a rope tied around my waist & I keep getting pulled backwards. I can’t “do me” like I am used to, like I want too. For at the very minimum, that rope is around me for four more weeks.

That rope can pull me back, but I don’t have to let it win.

There are times during my workouts, where I have to stop & walk it “off” or take deep breaths through pain. It is a physical struggle…but mentally, the struggle is so much greater than the physical one.

Like any journey in life, hurdles have a tendency to make us stop. We see it in front of us & are so afraid of what will happen if we try to jump it that instead, we just stop. I fight this hurdle daily.

Today, I still had that hurdle, in fact more than the other days this week. But, this time, I was different. This time I was lost in the fight; not stuck on the hurdle.

I was fighting. I was fighting to be stronger than yesterday. I was fighting through my weaknesses.

I was fighting her. The old me. The one that would have allowed the hurdle to stop me. The one that would have allowed the excuses to win. The one that would have given up because it was hard. FullSizeRender

I was so lost in the emotions of the workout that I was crying through it in a way I have only ever experienced one other time in my life.

I won. I beat her. The progress I have made in the past 25 days is not something I can explain to you. I’m not even sure I fully can comprehend it myself.

All I know, is that whatever hurdle jumps in my way, I will rise above it because today, I am stronger than I was yesterday.

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Until Next Time~

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